The Fever
by caskettoo
Summary: Detective Kate Beckett, the most discipline detective in the world, fell asleep at 9 am, on her office desk.
1. Chapter 1

_Summary : Detective Kate Beckett, the most dicipline detective in the world , fell asleep at 9 am, on her office desk.  
_

Castle looked at Kate deeply. There was a wrinkle in his forehead. His blue eyes turned from 'Hey-You-Sleepyhead' into 'Are you okay' look after he looked at his expensieve watch. 9 am. _Damn it, 9 am._ _The most dicipline detective in the world fell asleep at 9 am on her office desk. _There must be something wrong with her.

"Hey Castle, what is she doing?" Esposito showed up with two coffee on his hands.

"Ssssttt." Castle lowed his voice's pitch. "She's sleeping."

"She-WHAT?" Ryan joined them. Esposito slapped his hand.

"Ouch, Javi."

"Sorry,Kevkev. But she's sleeping and the last thing I want to see is you waking her when we're running from our paperwork. Got it ?"

Ryan nodded. "Loud and clear." He observed her face. "Castle. Her face turned red. Just like Jenny 2 months ago."

"What is that mean ?" He frowned.

"She's probably sick. Jenny was like a robot that day. She woke up in pain, and keep throwing up. I can't even look at her, I only want her to be comfortable but she's getting worst and-"

"What should I do?" The panic Castle placed his hand on her forehead.

"Check her temperature."

"She's freakin hot, dudes." Said Castle.

"We're all knew that for sure. She's hot and sexy, yeah right, bro?" Ryan patted Esposito's shoulder.

"She's hot and sexy, I know." Castle rolled his eyes. "But I really mean it. She's hot. It can be 102 degrees or more. God, what should I do with my KB ?" He continued.

"Wait for a minute." Esposito called the Captain. "Wish me luck, guys." He whispered.

"Detective Esposito...Oh really? What a coincidence !...No call,just doing some paperwork... It's paperwork, Sir, not firework." He rolled his eyes. Castle giggled.

"Uh yeah..I will...Anyway,Sir, our lovely boss is not feeling well..We just checked at her temperature and it's like 102 degrees.." Esposito bited his lips.

"But Ma'am...Just today. What if we get a hard case tomorrow and she can't make it? You know, Beckett's brilliant brain is the important one on every case...Really? Thank you. See you,Captain,at noon." He clicked the 'End Call' button.

"She get two days off,okay ? Take care of her,Castle. Me and Ryan have something to do."

"Always. Thanks guys, see ya guys next two days."

"Your welcome." They walked to their desk, left Castle and Beckett alone. He stroked her warm cheek.

"Beckett...Kate ? Please wake up. I'm really sorry to do this, but you have to." He whispered into her ear. No respond.

"Kate, wake up. I'm here." He whispered a little bit louder. She started to open her eyes slowly, and Castle's blue eyes was the first thing she saw.

"How are you feeling ?"

She leaned her head to his shoulder. "Stomach hurts. Like something punched my guts."

He whiped her hair through her watery eyes, and then kissed her forehead.

"You will _always_ here, aren't you ? I still have paperwork and I know that you have to run away and having fun, but ple-"

"I will _always_ be here and no, we're not doing any paperwork. Let's go home."

"But Castle-"

"You got two days off from Captain Gates. Thanks to..." Wait. No. Beckett will be so mad at her if she know about Esposito and the Captain's conversation.

"To whom,Castle?" Asked her with the hoarse voice.

"Never mind. I will lift you up in three,two-" He placed his left hand around her body, while the free one squeezed her hand, tried to comfort her.

"One." He lifted her up. Hell, no argument. She must be really sick.

He stepped carefully into the elevator. He heard Kate cried out of his name everytime she's in pain. Everytime that happened, he kissed her forehead to make her calm down.

"Castle ?" She's confused. "This is not the way to my apartment."

"We're going to my loft. I'll treat you better than Josh, I promise. Trust me."

"I always trust you, _writer man._ But you don't need to-"

"Ssshh,Kate. How are ya feeling now ?"

"Stop asking that question, idiot." She offered him a smile. He turned her car to the right, and there was it. His comfortable loft.

"Nah. We're here."

"Good."  
"Don't faint on me. Keep your eyes open."

"I'll try." He picked her up again.

"I can walk, Castle !"

"You can but I won't let you." His hand opened his office's door. There was a large sofa there. He  
was moving fast enough, gave shocks to Beckett.

"Rick.. Told ya about my headache." She began to complain. Like before, he kissed her forehead.

"I know, I know sorry. We're here."  
"Is this your room ?"

"My office. I left my aid-box here. This is the closest room we can get. When you're ready enough, we'll move to my bedroom. I have a super comfortable bed and you can spend your day there."

"Cas ?"

"Yes ? You okay ?"

"Why do you care ?" She asked him weakly. Part of her wanted to run and just turn back the time and didn't ask something like that – part of her full of curiousity. She just can't take it anymore. Not now.

"You're my partner. That's all." He answered quickly, not wanting the conversation now. Not with her in this condition.

"That's all ?" She mumbled quietly. Okay. Partner. That's what partners supposed to do. Have each other's back. She was a bit disappointed , but after all, she wanted to spit out, so she closed her eyes tightly.

"Hey, you okay ? Ready to eat some bread to fill your stomach ?"

She shook her head. "Not now, Castle. I just...feels sick."

"You do ? Want me to take you to the bathroom ?"

She nodded. "But you have to stay outside."

"Got it."

He steered her into the bathroom. "I feels like crap."

"I know." He kissed the top of her head. "Call my name if you need help, okay ?"  
She nodded.

He sat in front of the bathroom door, the voice of her retching hit his ears. He tried to stay calm, but when he heard her sob, he just can't take it anymore. He opened the door, and found Kate clutching her stomach tightly. She quickly push the 'flush' button.

"You...you promised me to stay outside."

"Ssshhh, it's okay,Kate. It's okay." He pull her into his embrace softly. She buried her head into his neck. They stayed like that for another 10 minutes.

"Want to go back to bed ?"

"That would be good."

They barely made it to the bed when she suddenly ran to the bathroom again. Castle followed her, and he can see Kate placed her hand on the edge of the toilet. Quick ,he felt her trembling, so he placed his hand on her neck,rubbing circle on it,while his right hand steady her. She began to spit the acid. She felt her body began to slide down, but Castle hold her tight that she can't fall. Unfortunately, she can't take it anymore. She fainted.  
-

_A/N : English is my second language,and I'm still learning. Sorry for the language-mistakes. My plan about this story...3 shots. Reveiws are appreciated._


	2. Chapter 2

Kate opened her eyes slowly. Thank God the first things she saw was a pair of blue eyes.

"Castle ?"

"Yes , Kate ?"

"What happened ?" This place is not his comfortable loft. Not her apartment,either.

"You passed out. We're in hospital right now, waiting for the doctor to come. How are you feeling ?"

He brushed her hair softly, and then kissed her forehead.

"Like the whole room is spinning." She shut her eyes, and then squeezed them tightly.

"Just hold on, okay ?"

She nodded. 5 minutes later , a doctor came to their room. The doctor was a girl, with a name tag on her chest.

"Detective Beckett, Richard Castle, good afternoon. My assistant said you passed out an hour ago, Detective Beckett ?"

Castle didn't let her Kate waste her energy to speak.

"It's true. Her temperature was 102 degrees at 9am , I never checked again. She threw up 2 times in the last 3 hours. Not just a light one, the last squeezed her energy and I think that's why she fainted. She has a terrible headache,too."  
The doctor amused with Castle's report.

"Clear. Detective Beckett, open your eyes widely, please."  
Kate's hand was searching for Castle's to hold for, and hecaught her hand quickly to calm her.

"Now roll them,please, to the right."  
And so she did.

"I think it's hepatitis. But I don't know which one yet, so my assistants will be here for your blood test,okay ? I have some work to do. , you can take care of her for a while."

"Of course I am. Don't be too long,okay ?"

"We won't ." The doctor left the room.

"You okay, Kate ?" Castle turned to her and held her hand.

"As long as you're here." She smiled weakly.

"I will _always_be here,you know ? I – I lo-"

Someone opened the curtain. "Mrs. Beckett, are you ready ?"  
Oh. They're gonna inject her.

"I am. Anyway, it's 'miss' , not 'mrs'. Thank you for coming."

"Oh,well...I thought you guys are ."

The word 'almost' was what Castle and Beckett thought.

"So give me your right hand. Straight, please."

The officer took her blood with injector slowly, painfully.

"Nah, we're done. You guys have to wait for 20 minutes. Call the nurse if anything goes wrong. Get well soon." The officer left Castle and Beckett alone...again. They were quiet, even though Castle still stroking her hand. And instead of his presence, his voice was soothing her. She really hated how Castle was such a drug for her. One day, she'll learn how to get rid of him without tears,but now, she needed to hear his voice...soon.

"So Castle, tell me a story." Beckett broke the silence first.

"What story ?" Castle looked at her confusedly.

"Anything... About your childhood ?" Her green eyes lighten up like a 10-years-old-girl-with-candies.

"That's a really great idea. I'd like to tell you about my experience in Disneyland. Is that okay with you , sweetheart ?"

Oh. It's sweetheart now ?  
She only nodded, too tired to speak.

"Okay. I was 13 that time – it's 29 years ago. My mom tied my hand to hers because she was afraid to lose me and I just cried because... God, please, not in front of the public. Not in front of my idol Mickey Mouse."

Kate laughed and it sounded like song to him. "Hey, you hurt me. I was 12 back then." He pretended to be annoyed.

"I asked her to buy a Mickey Mouse doll for me, but when we arrived to the merchandise store, there's only one doll left. I ran to the doll, but then this little girl stared at me with this 's so beautiful, you know ? I was falling in love with her. Hell – she is the first girl I fell in love with. But I love my Mickey,too. And her beautiful mom So I hugged the girl, and I kept hugging her, I told her that-"

"-Mickey was really in love with her and you were in love with her too, that Mickey was a bad person and wanted to took her from you, that Mickey was a jerk that you had to buy Mickey so you can cut him into pieces and save her. You promised her that you will find her someday,get her to the castle, and live with her happily ever after." Kate amused with her own memorizing-ability. That moment was really clear to her, the one who made her have no faith in magic – until she met Castle.

"Wait – how did you know about all of this ? How did-"

She cut his sentence. "Because that girl was me, Castle."

Castle's eyes widened. "You...you...It was you ? That 5-years-old-girl with the beautiful mom ? Seriously ? I met your mother ? What did she say about me ?"

"She said that someday I will find you because I just can't stop talking about you after that day." Kate still can't believe with the moment she had 28 years old ago.

"Gosh,Kate.. I do really found you. And I'm sooo thankful." He kissed her cheek. She blushed slightly. "Me too, Rick. Me too.""

"Do you still want me to take you to the castle ?" Castle teased. She was about to say something when suddenly the wave of nausea hit her stomach all over again.

"What happened?"

"My liver." She cried,again.

"You're still feeling sick ? Need to spew your guts again ?"  
She shook her head.

"My liver, Castle. It hurts."

"Your liver ? You sure?"

She nodded,her hands clutch her stomach tighter. Castle 's eyes pointed on a bucket at the corner of the room, and grabbed it.  
He tried to release her hand from her stomach, didn't want her to tore her skin.

"They keep punching me all over again"

"Who,Kate ? Who? "

"Something in my liver."

With that, she directed her head into the bucket.  
"Are you sure ? You already spew too much. How about you drink some water first ? If you're not, it would be hurt like hell to puking some stomach acid."

She shook her head because her stomach can't handle it any longer.  
As she spilled out her guts, he pulled her hair, massaged her neck again-harder, this time, because he know how hard it is to spew stomach acid and she has no energy left. She won't be able to make it alone without passed out again.

"Squeeze my hand. Squeeze it as tight as you want. It will minimize your pain."  
He looked at his watch. It's been 6 freakin minutes, she haven't stop vomiting. God, he worried about her. He never saw someone retching for this much.

She felt her stomach muscles started to kill her.

She closed her eyes, tried to calm her stomach. Too much contraction made her feels like she's gonna faint again or what. It worked for a minute, but then she can't hold it again. Rick stroked her back and gave her a neck massages at the same time, because she squeezed his hand really,really,hard. His lips stayed in her hair, told her that everything is gonna be okay, and somehow it made her feels a bit better.

"Are you done ?" Castle kept his tone steady. If he's panic, she'd be,too.

She nodded. "It hurts."

"I know, I know. We'll go through it."

"Why the hell do you want to take care of this disgusting woman ?"

"Ssshhh,Kate, your eyes are red and puffy and I still think they're cute." Castle stroked her head. Kate rolled her eyes.

They were quiet for a few minutes.

"Do you think I'm gonna be okay ? I mean – she said I have hepatitis. What if – what if I have Hepatitis C ? 70 of 100 are killed because of Hepatitis C. I haven't catch my mother's murderer, Castle, I don't want to leave the world without solving this first." Her voice broke in the end of her sentence. It made his heart breaks.

"You're gonna be okay,Kate. We're gonna be okay."

_A/N : Thank you for the reviews and story alerts ! And thank you __**lv2bnsb1**__ for the tips, the "paperwork" and "am-pm" things are fixed. Again, reviews are appreciated._


	3. Chapter 3

Kate was asleep when the doctor came with the result. "Mr. Castle , this is a good and bad news."

Castle sighed. "Start from the good one."

"Your wi - partner is not having Hepatitis B or C. Hepatitis A is very curable." The doctor read the report with this serious face that made his heart pounding. He just didn't want to hear the bad one.

"The bad news , is , your partner is having a really , really , serious case of Hepatitis A. Her SGOT is 2000 when the worst is 800."

Castle frowned. "I'm sorry , what ? 1200 differences ?"

"Unfortunately. She has to stay here at least a week. Will she has any company to through the week or we will hire personal nurse ? This is a really serious disease and attacked her liver, one of the most important organ ever. Someone have to control-"

"I'll be with her." Said Castle. His ears are sick of the medical explanation he would never understand. But be there to protect,taking care of her, entertains her... That was his first priority at the moment.

"Perfect. Any request or question ?"

"Is she allowed to drink coffee ?" Castle can't even imagined how's Beckett without coffee.

"I don't think her stomach even accept a sip of water."

Castle confused and the remembered how she threw up.

"My nurse will be here to run allergy-test on her,but we have to wake her first. They'll be here in 10 minutes. You wake her."

-

"Kate, wake up. Come on, sweetheart. Wake up."  
That 'sweetheart' thing woke her fast. That word - it made her feel safe and annoyed at the same time.

"Hey,Rick."

"Hey,Kate." He kissed her forehead.

Kate tried to remember things before she fell asleep. Oh - the result. How's the result ? Why did he stared at her with this concern face ? Will - will she leave the world anytime soon ?

"How - how's the result ?"

"Hepatitis A."

She smiled. It was like the weight of the world on her shoulders just gone. She still had a chance to caught her mother's murderer.

He smiled. Because she smiled.

She tried to sit, but he pushed her back to the bed slowly. "No,Kate. Don't. You have to run allergy-test first so they can give you the infuse."

Kate frowned. "I- I have to stay here ? It's just Hepatitis A, one day here should be enough !"

This thing about staying in hospital made her remembered the days...the days without Castle after her shooting. How badly she wanted to call him,just to hear his voice or ask him to come over, eat ice cream with her, hug her and calm her every time she have panic attack. The feeling was exactly the same. How she's struggling to breath, searching oxygen - it was really hard - it is hard. Wait - is she having panic attack ?

The next thing she knew, she crashed her head to Castle's lap, crying like a baby. She can felt him soothing her back.

"In and out. In and out. You can, Kate, you can breathe. Come on, breathe with me."

She was so close with him, and shaking. Castle just noticed her eyes' color – it's a bit yellow. But he won't tell her now, not with she's having panic attack.

"You've got me, Kate. You've got me."

That magical sentence calmed her in a second...again.

"I'm sorry,Castle. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Sorry I lied." She cried...for the third time that day.

"Sssshh,Kate. It's the past. I love you, and I mean it. Hold on to that."

"I love you too,Rick. It's just... I'm sorry." Kate sniffed. Castle kissed the top of her head.

"I know you are." But then the nurse interrupted them.

"Ready for the allergy test ?"

Kate nodded. She gave the nurse her hand, and it took only 3 minutes to know the result.

"You're clear. Now your left hand please, for the infuse." The nurse showed them a bag full of white liquid that made Castle confused. He never saw something like that before.

"What's that ?"

"Glucose. Her stomach will hardly accept food , so glucose is for the food and her energy , because you know, she'll throw up a lot and that will use a lot of her energy. We don't want her to faint again." The nurse explained.  
"Not that she's allowed to sleep without a big bowl of porridge. Foods are so important to her recovery." The tone of the nurse's voice made Castle and Beckett wanted to laugh.

Kate whispered to Castle's ear. "Wow, we got the scary one."

Castle laughed a little and kissed Kate's cheek slightly,again.

"This might be hard for both of you, but you guys are not allowed to kiss each other with mouth until she's totally recovered which took 6 months. I'm sorry."

Castle and Beckett both nodded, but well, their heart weren't.

He was the one who closed his eyes when the needle tore her skin. Kate hissed a little, but then she laughed because of Castle's action. "Really, you close your eyes ? What's with you, Castle ?"

He didn't want to see the woman he love in pain. "I just wanted to."

Figured out she's done with the infuse thing, he opened his eyes.

"How do you feel ?" Castle took her hands.

"I feels sick, but I'll be okay." She whispered – not strong enough to add her voice volume.

" dad will be here in 10 minutes."

"You – you called him ? I don't want to worry him , Castle, what the hell did you do ?" He was surprised by her reaction, he thought Kate will feel pleased to have her dad here.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you. But I'm a dad, Kate, if anything happened to Alexis...Wow, I can't even think about it. But at least , with seeing her, feel her, it makes me feels better. And sorry, but you can't just think about your own. If your dad hear about your condition from anyone else instead of us, that would be unneccessary."

Kate stared at the empty glass beside her.

"You're right. Sorry for my words. I don't understand what's wrong with me, Castle. I just can't handle it." Kate bowed her head.

"That's okay. Now sleep,okay ? You need to rest." Castle brushed her hair.  
"Wake me when daddy is here ?" Kate's sleepy eyes stared at Castle's. Daddy ? He never heard she called her dad with 'daddy' before.  
"I will." He kissed her forehead one more time before she fell asleep. She looked so beautiful when she's asleep. 3 months ago, this is he's allowed to kiss her forehead, take care of her... And there she was, looked so vulnerable and fragile.

Kate's eyes squeezed tight, suddenly. She mumbled something and then he realized she had nightmare. Castle sang lullaby to her , the song he used to sing to Alexis every night. Castle was so tired,too. They both were fell asleep until someone knocked the door. Castle woke up, and ran to the mirror, fixed his hair. When the knock became faster and harder, he quickly walked to the door. He expected Jim Beckett on the other side of the door. But when he opened the door, an officer was there with that big bowl of porridge the doctor told him. The last thing he needed to tell Beckett was she had to eat that much when she feels like puke her guts out.

"Sorry it took so long."

"It's okay. Just make her eat this, okay ? We will inject six kind of drugs to her infuse every night, and this porridge is so important to her empty stomach."

"And if she puke her guts out ?"

"It's okay. Stomach won't throw all the food. But she has to eat all of this. For her own good."

He nodded. "Okay then. Thank you. But sorry, can I have one too ?"

The hospital officer looked confused. "For you ?"

"Yes. Cover it with the worst ketchup you got. The salt one, or the sweet one, I don't care. "

The officer gone for a minute and then came back with another bowl of porridge.  
"It won't be your favorite taste after all."

"It's okay, really. Thank you."

Castle closed the door.

"What is that, Castle ?" _Oh. She's awake_.

"A bowl of delicious porridge, sweetheart. You ready to eat this ?"

Kate shook her head quickly. "No, Castle. My nausea just past. Please."

"I know, but you have to."

"Castle, no. I worked so hard to make the nausea past and this porridge will ruin the whole things." Kate hid her face under the blanket.

"Kate, you want this to be over, you have to eat the porridge. Come on, let's do this together. Spoon by spoon. If you feel sick, we can pause it for a second and then start to eat again. Understand ?" He placed the bowls on the table.

"Look, Kate, I will eat one too. And look, mine is covered by ketchup... And you know how much I hate ketchup. So we'll eat this together, okay ?" Castle pulled the blanket off from her body and then sat beside her, rubbed her back. She still looked upset, but she nodded slowly.

Castle brought the sickbag.

He feeded her , and she swallowed it slowly. He loved that she was still really strong , still managed to give him the smile he adored. She already ate half of her food when he suddenly saw Kate squeezed her eyes tightly, tried to make the nausea past.

"You okay,Kate ?"

Kate nodded in silence.

"You ready for the next round or you want a little break ?"

Kate didn't answer.

"You want to throw up ?"

She nodded weakly.

Kate covered her mouth with her hand, waited for Castle to give her the sickbag, but well, she can't handle it. She vomited on his expensive clothes.

He knew that Kate felt guilty, and it makes him sick.

"It's okay, babe, just let it out. Do not cover your hands on your mouth, I don't want you to swallow those shit. They'll get bitter and bitter." He said reassuringly.

His right hand rubbed some warmth to her neck while his left hand tried to reach the sickbag on the nightstand.  
She shook her head and tried to get up so she can go to the bathroom, but he held her even tighter. Her hands still covering her mouth whilst she puke to her hands again.

"Let it out, Kate.. Just let it out. It's okay,love."

Three seconds later, after he reached the sickbag, he decided to use his left hand to hold the sickbag while his right hand began to brush off her hair from her face and gave some push to her neck as she throw up. Her hot tears began to slide as she vomited to the sickbag.

"Let it out, love. Let it out."

_A/N : For you who asked me via PM about the story – I started this before "Always", but this is a story after "Always". Why are they still "partner" ? Next chapter. Anyway, sorry it took so long to update, school things are asdfghjkl right now . If you have time, check my other fic (one-shot) 'That One Thing'.net/s/8084561/1/That_One_Thing . Click the review button, please ! _


	4. Chapter 4

Just when Kate calmed down and fell asleep, someone knocked the door. Castle opened it quickly, and saw Jim Beckett with this worry-look that made Castle's heart turned into sympathy.

"."

"Hey there,Castle. Call me Jim. Where's my little Katie ?" Jim's eyes widened as he saw a big,big room – so different from the room Kate used to recover from her bullet.

"She's asleep, but if you want to wake her..." The picture of Kate had a nightmare flashed to Castle's mind.

"...No. Don't. She was just having a nightmare." He corrected his words. Oh. This is going to be awkward.

Jim patted Castle's shoulder. "I won't wake her."

Castle sighed in relieve. "Okay. Please have a seat." Castle lead him to the sofa beside Kate's bed.

"Son, don't make things between us awkward, okay ? Please. Relax. Treat me like I'm your own father."

_Ah. Father. _

"I – I don't have any father. What about friends ? Good friends ?"

Jim is frowning at the moment he told him that he had no father and felt sorry for him. "Sorry, I don't know. Good friends ? Perfect."

Castle smiled.

"So Rick, tell me what's wrong with her."

Castle told Jim what happened. They talked a lot about the disease. Jim told Castle how Kate's grandmother had Hepatitis C and died. But then...

"Kate said you two were finally together... the day when Alexis graduated. What happened ? You two..broke up or what ?"

"We broke up, but not like that." Castle nodded in agreement.

_Don't__ask__about__why__we__broke__up.__Don't__ask__about__why__we__broke__up._

"You broke up with her, or she broke up with you ?"

Castle bit his lip. "I broke up with her."

Jim's eyes widened.  
_  
This man is crazy about her. How in the world he's letting her go ?_

"How ?"

God.

"This is about your wife's case. There's someone I trust about the case, his name is Mr.Smith However, he murdered then. Kate was resigned , so she had no right to run the case. So was Javier Esposito, he was suspended for two weeks. So the leader of the case was Kevin Ryan. The CSU found a letter , it's for me. He said, I am the dragon's next target."

Jim let Castle continue. "I swore to God that I will protect Kate whatever the risks are. So I had to put Kate away from me, being her partner like usual, since Gates didn't let her go from her squad. But I'm still allowed to – ehm – kiss her,take care of her... I mean – We don't have to be in a special relationship to loving each others, right ? I love her, Jim. I hope you understand." Castle explained, ready for the judgment.

"Do you love her ? Really, really love her ?" The older man crossed his hands.

"I do. I do, with all my heart. I love her. She means...she means the world for me, apart from Alexis. The best thing that ever happened to me after Alexis." Castle answered with no doubt.

Jim smiled. "Okay then. She's all yours."

"Thank you. That means so much to me." Said Castle when his alarm ringed.

Jim frowned. "What's that for ?"

"She has to take some pills."

Jim stood up. "I'll give you both some times. I have to go to the bathroom." Jim patted Castle's shoulder.  
_  
This good-friends things are awkward.  
_  
"Actually, you don't have to. We have our own bathroom." Castle's finger pointed to the bathroom's door.

"Yeah, right." Jim raised his eyebrows.

"Thank you, _dude._"

"You're welcome."  
_  
Dude ? God, this is creepy.  
_  
He tried to think how to make things between him and Jim comfortable, but he decided to focus on Kate's health – one of the most important things in his world.

Castle took a glass of water and the pills,put it on the nightstand, and then sat on the edge of the bed. He surprised when his move woke her already. "Hey, beautiful."

"Hey you." Kate looked at the clock. "Dad's here ?"

Kate snuggled to Castle's lap. He kissed her hair, liked what it smelled.

"He is."

"Want to see him."

"But you have to take the pill first , okay ?"

"Mmmkay."

She lifted her face to look straight at Castle's. Castle put the first pill on her tongue and handed her a glass of water. Her face turned green as soon as she swallowed it.

"What is that, Kate ?"

"This one is dissolving in my tongue. I don't like the taste."

"I know. But you did it anyway. Proud of you." He kissed her forehead one more time before he leave her and her dad alone.

Kate and her father talked a lot about Castle and his family. They talked about job, their old memories, and...Kate's future.

"He's my one, Dad. I know you can't believe this and this might sounds like I'm creepy or what...But he's my angel. He can wipe all my tears with his smile. I believe in everything he said. I believe in him. He's my one and done."

The next 2 days was the hardest for Rick. He had to go to the meeting with Paula and he couldn't leave Kate. She's getting better ? Yes. Her fever was down instantly, and she said that she felt a lot better. But her problems with her nausea ? He can't even think about it.  
She puked a lot and didn't want to eat, that makes her loss 6 pounds of her weights.

He won't leave her side. He loves being near her, he loves taking care of her, and he didn't want her to be alone. So he pretended to forget...until Alexis called him.

"Dad, you really have to come. Gina called me a hundred times." She protested.

"Pumpkin, I can't." He walked towards Kate's bed.

"I want to be here for Kate." He continued.

Alexis shook her head. "I know, Dad. But at least talk to Gina and make her shut up. But in my opinion ? You have to come. I'll take your position and take care of Kate."

"Lex, it's not that easy. You have to understand that-"

" 'that'? 'that' what ? That you love her ? This is about your Nikki Heat contract, Dad. If you love her, if you want to be there for her, if you want to follow her until death do you and Kate apart , come to the meeting. Like I said, I will take care of her. End of story."

He sighed. "Lex, I need your favor right now. Just do it my way."

"Why don't you just trust me, Dad ? Even since the shooting – you barely trust me about things with Kate. You want her all to yourself. Not that it's my fault that I don't have any proper mom before." Alexis disconnected her call. Castle stared at his phone unbelieve.

_Not that it's her fault that she don't has any proper mom before.  
_  
The words keep playing in his head. And hell, he can't delete Alexis' broken voice from his mind. He really screwed it up, didn't he ?  
_  
I want her all to myself.  
_  
That part was true. Really true. He just didn't know what to say anymore. It's true.  
He was too selfish. Alexis wants Kate too. Shouldn't he has to be happy ? No ? Yes ?

So he dialed Alexis' numbers.

"Yes, Dad ? What can I help ? Lying to Gina ?"

"No. I'm sorry, okay. You're right. You love Kate, and that's what the matter. You love Kate, and she loves you too. She dreamed about you , you know ? Come here. I'll come to the meeting, you take care of her. I'm sorry."

"Yeah ? You know what Dad, I missed her. And her pancake is better than yours." He could hear the excitement in her voice.

_A/N : I'm not so happy with this chapter, but drop me some reviews, please ? Next chapter is full of Kalexis...and Rick too,of course. _


	5. Chapter 5

Her dad left earlier this morning. She thought he was waiting for her. What if - what if things getting awkward ? What if Kate doesn't want her to come?

_What if Kate getting worst and I don't know what to do ?  
_  
"Come in." A voice replied her door-knocks. She refused to believe it was Kate's. It sounded raspy. How bad is her condition ?

When she opened the door,the first thing she saw was a little kitchen.

Ah, where is Kate ? She was too excited to meet Kate.

"Here,Lex."

The voice led her to Kate's bed. Kate was smiling weakly, the eyes of love in her eyes still lit up and shined.  
It's been 2 weeks since the last time she met Kate, and she never realized how much she misses the detective.

Alexis sat on the chair beside her bed...the one who smelled like her dad.

Kate looked as beautiful as ever, but Alexis noticed the paleness of her skin.

"How are you,Lex ? How's college ?"

"I'm good. College is good, too." Alexis walked towards Kate.

"Good to know." Kate replied with a smile. She felt her left hand sweating.

_What the hell, am I nervous ?_

"It's hard to leave Dad and you here. I feel like I was just having a family and now I have to leave."

Kate squeezed Alexis' hands. "After I get out from this hell, we're going to do what we do everyday, okay ? I'll call you every night, skype every week..."

Alexis smiled at her promise. Still, she couldn't erase the concern she had for Kate. Kate looked like she was holding something inside. "I'm looking forward to. And how are you feeling, Kate ?"

"I'm fine. Much better than yesterday."

"Liar. I know when you're not okay."

"I'm fine, Lex."

"No. No you're not. You told me that I don't have to be strong in front of you and dad. And you too, Kate. We're family."

Family. God, it felt right to say that they're family.

It was right.

"I'm fine,Lex. Really."

Alexis shook her head. Her father was right - Detective Kate Beckett is stubborn. She confessed to herself that her dad was completely amazing. Kate must be so in love with him that she opened herself. Alexis knew Kate was having a breakdown in front of her dad.

Wait, is that mean that she doesn't love me ?

Alexis knew that her father was trying,too. And that's what I'm gonna do.

"I'm fine,Lex, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. Really." Kate tried to reassuring her.  
Alexis let go of her hand, and then sat on the edge of Kate's bed.

"Kate, do you mind if I hug you ?"

Kate laughed. "Why would I ?"

Kate was the one who pulled Alexis into a hug.

"I miss you,you know ?"

"I miss you."

They were bursting into laugh for saying the words they wanted to say at the same time.

"We got that sync, huh ?"

"Yeah, we got it."

Their hug didn't last long because of the infuse Kate had on her hand. Beside, Kate was not feeling as good as before. Probably because she was restless and was just refused to eat..again.  
Kate was stroking Alexis' hands in silence while Alexis sunk in her own mind - something she really didn't understand : How in the world she could love someone as much as she loved her dad, Richard Castle ?

The relationship between them wasn't good back then. But something changed in her,in Kate, in them. Because of something they all hated.

Panic attack.

The woman Alexis adored and hated at the same time because of her toughness and stuborness, had a panic attack in front of her own eyes. And since then, they were all good. They talked. They became attached to each others. Kate _is_a part of her, the one she trusted never leave her and will always be there for her.

"Alexis ? Do me a favor ?" Kate's thin voice broke the silence.

"Yes, Kate ? What do you need ?"

"Turn off the AC...s..so cold." Kate's body was shaking. Alexis did what Kate asked as she noticed Kate's dry upper lip was about to bleed. She poured hot mineral water to the glass on the nightstand.

"Lex, d-did you hear what I s-said ? Turn off the AC. Please." Kate was trembling.

"I did, Kate, I did. I turned it off." The panic Alexis quickly covered Kate with all blankets on the bed.  
Kate shivered harder. Alexis was leading the straw towards Kate's mouth so she can sip the water easily.

Unexpected, Kate drank all the water. Alexis had always known that drinking much water to an empty stomach is a bad idea. As Kate's face got paler,Alexis quickly get up and brought the bucket right in front of Kate,prepared for what comes next.

"Thank you, Lex, but I think I got this." Kate pretended to be okay.

"I know you are. But I have the right to be worried about you."

Kate didn't answer.

"Kate ? You're alright ?

Kate leaned her face to the bucket and emptied the content on her stomach as Alexis rubbing her back. It was really painful. Kate expected to see some blood, thankfully there weren't any.

"I – I'm sorry you have to see this." Kate tried to reach the tissues on the night stand and failing embarassingly.

"Kate, just stop saying that, can you ? It's okay. I actually feels like...I feels like I'm a part of your little world by letting me see how...who you are." Alexis corrected her words quickly.

Kate laughed. "You were about to say how vulnerable am I, right ?"

Alexis choosen not to answer this tricky question and changed the topic.

"I was scared, you know ? I was so scared that you might not as okay as I thought. And I'm really,really, happy to see your laugh."

Kate sighed. "I'm happy to see you too. Now let's do the thing we didn't do for a long time."

"Talk about boys ? And uhm – my dad ?" Alexis laughed.

"Yes !" Kate answered excitedly. "Or we could always talk about cats."

"What ? No. You know I'm a dog person." Alexis didn't mention her phobia with cat.

"Yeah ? Okay,then. Let's talk about boys !" Said Kate as she felt her liver hurts again.

Kate hissed in pain quietly, didn't want Alexis to see that, but somehow Alexis got it. Alexis helped Kate settled perfectly in the bed in no time.

"Not now, Kate. I have a lot to tell you, but you're exhausted and you have to rest."

Kate shook her head. "No,Lex,you don't understand. We're skyping for weeks and dying to meet each other and no, I'm not gonna sleep this fast. I want us to talk. I miss you, you know, and I mean it." The frustrated Kate rubbed her face.

"I'll be here when you wake up. We can talk later."

"No. Please. I don't want to sleep. Let's do something else, okay ? Hand me my bag, please ?"

Alexis grabbed the bag and surprised with the weight. "Kate, you carry this thing everyday ? Is it always _this_heavy ?"

"Not always. It's just...the last 3 months. Since you said you might go home but you don't know when. I – I have a present for you."

Alexis frowned."Present ? My birthday was 6 months ago."

"I know, I just..." Kate grabbed a small box from her bag. "Open this."

Alexis looked at Kate hesitantly before her hand busily open the box. And there it was, a polaroid camera. Alexis gasped – she loves vintage. She wanted to buy this thing for a long time.

"This is so cool ! Thank you !" Alexis kissed Kate's cheek a few times.

Kate returned the kiss. "I'm so glad you like it."

"Of course I like it ! Where did you get this ?"

"I...When I was 18, I won a science competition and my school sent me to Los Angeles for 5 months. I was very homesick. And when I returned to New York, my mother give me this. I don't know exactly why."

Alexis almost dropped the camera. "Then why give me this ? It's your thing with your mother. Mere – Mother didn't even call me, you know ? She texted. She texted 'Happy Graduation, love!' and something like that, but it was just a text. She didn't even call. She didn't call." Her voice barely a whisper as the last 3 words spoken.

"Come here, Alexis." Said Kate as she tried to sit. Alexis sat on the edge of the bed.

"What,Kate ? What ? You're gonna tell me that you know how it feels like ?"

Kate surprised by Alexis' words. "You know I know."

"No you're not ! Your mother left you. Forever. You're never gonna see her again. But you know she loved you. She cared about you. And what about me ? My 'mother' is still here. Healthy,powerful,happy, and I don't feel like I have a mother ! Life is not fair." Alexis yelled as her tears falling down.

Kate didn't say anything because she knew Alexis was right. The only thing she could do was holding her tight.

"No, Lex. Life is always fair. If it doesn't, bad things would happen to us again and again. But it doesn't. My mother's death led me to you, your dad, your family. My mother's death led me to the 12th Precinct. Your grandfather's absence makes your dad creative. A good imaginer that made him an outstanding writer. Meredith's absence makes you strong. Makes you as perfect as you are now. " Kate's hand pointed to Alexis.

Alexis tried to not cry, but it was really hard not to. Tears streamed down her face.

" You think so ? Now tell me, what's the good part about you being shot ?" Alexis still didn't trust her, but Kate understood her well. Thankfully this one was easy for her to answer.

"When I laid on the ground, your dad confessed his love to me." Kate blushed.

"And when Stanford rejected me ?"

"You don't have to see your ex's face everyday."

"And when you leave Dad without calling him ? Was there any good impacts to both of you ?"

"Yeah. We realized that after all, we can't live without each other. It was really hard to not having your dad with me that time, but then I realized he's the one for me. It was worth it."

"And..."

"Lex, you can stop." Kate laughed a little.

But Alexis' face was still serious, made Kate regretted her laugh. "And when I treated you badly since you were shot.. is that doing any good to both of us ?"

Kate's eyes softened. "Well that was a break for you. A year without having me around, because unfortunately you'll stuck with me for a long,long,long time."

Alexis turned her head to face Kate's. "Promise ? Promise that you won't leave me anytime soon ? I mean – I understand your job and if you decided not to marry my d-"

Kate framed Alexis' face with her hand. "Always."

Alexis felt the heat of Kate's hand. It wasn't normal. "Kate, you're burning up." She placed a hand on Kate's forehead.

"Yeah ? I feel a bit feverish right now, but I'll be okay."

"Sleep,Kate. Sleep."

"Lex-"

"Stop arguing. You promised me you'll always be there. This is a serious disease, Kate."

Kate couldn't say no this time.

* * *

Alexis was staring at her mom figure with tears. Why things always hard for a good person like Kate ?

* * *

_Everything was white. The color of the wall, the chair, the tie that tied feet, the floor, the desk...everything. It was really bright. She was still wearing the hospital gown. Her hands was wet, and she smell something that made her nausea._

_Blood._

_She squeezed her hand,tried to stop the bleeding._

_But nothing was hurt._

_That wasn't her blood._

_"Kate, help." A voice hit her turned her head to the left, and there was Alexis,lying on the floor with her chest bleeding._

_Kate tried to speak, but she couldn't._

_"Help me. Please." She can hear the tears in Alexis' voice._

_Kate tried to move, but she was too weak._

_"Please,Kate. Help me. Please." Alexis begged.  
_

* * *

A scream stopped Castle and Alexis from talking. They were quickly on her side.

"Kate, wake up. Wake up. Ssshh, Kate, it was just a dream, okay ? It was just a dream." Castle shook her shoulder. She was struggling against him soon. Her eyes closed but tensed in fear.

"Kate ? Please. Wake up. It's only a nightmare." Castle framed her face with his hand.  
_  
Dammit, _he thought. Her temperature was really high.

"Lex, she had a fever this morning ?"

"Only warm, but not _that_hot."

His eyes pointed to the emergency button. Alexis pressed it quick, and went back to Kate's side.

"Kate ? Please wake up. I'm here, Alexis is here. Please."

Castle kissed her temple, stroked her hands several times until she calmed down.

Kate woke up with her left hand grasped to somebody else's. It was too big to be Alexis' , so she figured it was Castle.

"Rick ? Where's Alexis ?"

The ruggedly handsome writer kissed her knuckles.

"Sssh,I'm here,Kate." She didn't realize someone held her right hand too until she heard Alexis' soothing voice.

"How are you feeling ?" Asked Castle.

"I'm tired, and my liver hurts, and the nausea, and...Gosh, I feel awful. "

"You need me to call the nurse ?" Asked Alexis.

"No,please. What happened ?" She tried to sit, but Alexis stopped her.

"You had a nightmare, your temperature was up to 104. That was the highest you ever had since you got in." Castle kissed her forehead.

"Okay, this sounds stupid, but am I going to be okay ?"

"Of course you are, don't worry about it. It's just... If you're not getting better by tomorrow, they might move you to the ICU."

Kate panicked. "Well I don't feel feverish anymore. Is that a good sign ? Because if I'm staying in ICU that means I can only have visitor at the time they arranged, I – I don't know how to do this without you."

* * *

_A/N : Oh My God, it's been a month. I'm really,really sorry to not update earlier, hope you all still here with me. Tell me if I better continue this story or not, because many readers told me that I'm good at one-shot, but not multi-chapter. Thank you for reading ! _


	6. Chapter 6

Alexis left a few hours before Kate back to sleep, leaving Castle and Beckett alone. Castle tried to sleep, but he couldn't. He had the need of protecting her.

He didn't understand what happened, though. Beckett did really well , what changed ? What went wrong? He knew nausea is the biggest part of Hepatitis A, probably because of the liver, but she hadn't had fever for days. What's wrong?

And then he found out that she wasn't eat any of her food when he left that morning. He was...what to say, disappointed? Yes. He was really disappointed. She promised to him, why broke it ?

So, when Kate finally awoke, Castle couldn't help but mad at her.

"Kate, the nurse got a report that you didn't eat your food this morning. Is that true ?" His voice soft, but cold.

She didn't answer.

"Kate?"

"It's true." She sighed, searching for excuses. "My stomach wasn't really good back then."

"Well, you're sick! What are you expecting?"

Castle, unexpectedly, rolled his eyes. That made her wanted to yell at him, but she held it altogether.

"Usually food doesn't affect much on me."

"But you studied biology before, right ? Hell, 2-years-old kid would know that everyone need to eat."

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. You can always go home."

"Don't throw me that look. It's for your own health, you know ?"

"Sorry." She tried to not looking at Castle's eyes.

"Sorry ? 'Sorry' not gonna change your condition. You're a detective, you know 'I'm not guilty' not gonna release a prisoner." He yelled at her.

And then she stopped talking to him. She looked in pain, he wanted to comfort her, but she refused.

"Castle ? Can you give me an hour ?"

"For what ?"

"For you to leave me alone. Please."

Castle laughed at her. "Of course I will. No need to beg."

He left her alone in that room. Castle was going to the hospital's canteen to grab some food, wanted to fill his empty stomach. But all he did was going to the bathroom and punched the wall.

_Stupid Castle_, he muttered.

* * *

He looked at his watch, surprised to see that he left her for almost one and a half hour now. He quickly ran to her room, knocked the door gently and opened the door. He wanted to say sorry. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to feel her. God, he was never this attached to someone before. But the bed was empty.

He found nothing.

She wasn't there.

He quickly pushed the emergency button, and in no time, the nurse was there.

"Where is she ?"

The nurse was looking at him in confusion. "You don't know ?"

Castle shook his head. "No I don't. Where is she ?"

"She was transferred to the ICU. Her temperature was up again, and her skin was getting yellow. She was shaking when we found her, she felt cold but her temperature was 103.8. SGPT and SGOT still high."

Castle's jaw dropped. "What ? Which room ?"

"447. But she can't have any visitor by now. Wait 3 more hours and you'll have 30 minutes."

"Listen to me. I have to see her now, and I'll stay there. I will give you anything to make it happen."  
"Well, you can sign a few papers. I'll bring it to you in 30 minutes.."

"Can you just bring it to her room ? I have to be there now."

The nurse sighed. "Whatever. I'll see you there. And Mr. Castle, please get her to drink or eat something."

Castle nodded in agreement and walked to Kate's newest room. He opened the door nervously, scared about what he would see.

And there she was, lying on the bed with her green eyes staring blankly to the door. Yes, the color changes of her skin was really noticeable. But what broke Castle's heart wasn't her condition. But her full-of-tears green eyes. They were like a swimming pool.

She was waiting for him.

" 'm sorry, Castle. Won't do that again." Tears were finally falling from her eyes.

"Oh, Kate.." He rushed to be on her side. Kate started to sob as Castle held her tight like he won't let go. He felt his eyes were burning too.

He couldn't imagine how it feels like to receive the bad news alone. He couldn't imagine how scared she was.

"Forgive me ?" Asked Kate. Her voice was barely audible.

"Shh, Kate... You're not doing anything wrong. No need to apologize."

Kate cried even harder. "You left."

"Yes, I do, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He kissed the top of her head.

"They injected me things, Castle. You weren't there." She said the words in disbelief. She knew he won't leave her. He's not that kind of guy.

"Yes, and I'm sorry, okay ? I got you now. I won't ever leave you again. Got it ?" He brushed her hair.

"I promise I'll eat my food. But don't get mad at me and don't leave. Need you." She mumbled to his chest.

He lifted her head. Her face damp of tears and sweat.

"Listen to me. I'm sorry for yelling at you, okay ? I'm sorry. And I won't ever leave you again."

"I really, really don't feel good this morning. It hurts to even swallow them, Rick, and I know I'd throw up if I eat them. It's exhausting. I vomited this afternoon after I drink mineral water. Only mineral water, Rick. What am I supposed to do ?" Asked Kate as she felt Castle's thumb wiped away her tears.

"We'll do it slowly, okay ? We'll figure it out." Castle rubbed her back, and get up to get some water for her.

He came back 5 minutes later.

"Drink this." He handed the glass to her.

Kate shook her head, her face looked in fear as the water was her biggest enemy. "You still don't understand ?"

"I understand, but I don't want you to get dehydrated. Drink it slowly, okay ?"

"What's the matter if I'd only throw it up ?"

"If you want to throw up , then throw up. Once your stomach get settled, you try again. Don't give up. Okay, love?"

She sighed. "Okay."

She drank the water carefully. Sometimes, she squeezed Castle's hand while she closed her eyes tightly, waiting for the nausea to passed. And she did it - she drank much.

But then could see the color drain from her face. "I feel sick." She covered her mouth with her hand. Hot tears were welling in her eyes.

"Take a deep breath." Castle won't let her stomach giving up the water. It'd take hours to make her drink it again.

"I need to throw up, Castle." Her hand pointed at the bucket beside the nightstand.

"No, Kate, take a deep breath. Calm down. "

She took a deep breath.

"Now close your eyes."

"Castle, I really, really need to throw up."

"Shh, Kate, just close your eyes. Come closer."

He pulled her to him.

"Cas, you don't want me to throw up on your chest, right ?"

He heard her mumbled, but he ignored. He kissed the top of her head, and then stroking it back and forth.

"I'll tell you a story. "Once upon a time, there was a princess named Katherine. She loved to ride horse, she loved to do archery, she was a really tough girl. And..."

* * *

It's been 3 hours since she fell asleep. The nurse had caught him climbing to her bed.

_"There are reasons why she should stay here, Mr. Castle. You're lucky enough to be allowed to stay."_

_Castle laughed in disgust. "Look at her ! The woman laying there means the world to me. She was in pain. And while there's nothing you could do, I offered her some comfort she needed. She drank a full glass of water. How about that ?"_

_The nurse smiled cynically._

_"You know what ? When we found her shaking this evening, she was crying and asking for you, but you weren't there. Really mean of you to leave your own world, huh ?"_

And then the nurse left. But Castle couldn't stop thinking about her words. She's right, he was really mean.

Kate was right, he didn't understand. Seeing her like this – thin, and not forget to mention her whole body was yellow, how in the world he could leave her alone ?

Alexis would kill him if she knew what happened between them this morning.

But after all, the peaceful look when she's sleeping made him forget about what happened earlier.  
He loved to watch her sleep, especially to stare at her beautiful lips, because she often bit her lip in her sleep.

Sometimes, she let out a small snore. He found it cute.

It was 10 pm, and he finally managed to get some sleep. But then he awoken when he felt Kate releasing her grip. Kate jerked from her bed, turned her head to her right side and emptied her stomach to the floor.

Castle hugged her from her back to made her steady by one hand, while the other rubbed her back. Her body was wet from the sweat, but he didn't care.

"God, what happened, Kate ?"

She turned to him with a confused look. Castle hugged her tighter as he heard her sobbing hard. He sooth her with everything he could.

He was confused too, he couldn't deny that. Three days ago, he could say that she was getting better, that they're okay. But reality betrayed him.

He lifted her chin to wipe her tears, and he stared at her for a long time.

Something's not right.

There were no tears.

* * *

A/N : You guys are seriously amazing. This chapter is not as long as the 5th one, but I don't want you guys to wait too long. So I think I'll keep it short but fast update. Review, please ?


	7. Chapter 7

"Castle." She snuggled into his chest, seeking for comfort. He kept her arm around her while his free hand reached for the emergency button. But Kate stopped her.

"Don't." She whispered.

"I'm okay, I'm fine, look at me." She continued. He looked at her scared face. He knew she scared of bad news, she always has.

She scared of the bad news a thousand time more than she scared of keep it going.

"I just had a nightmare, I'm shock, that's all. I'm fine."

He concerned even more, but he had to be calm to make her calm too. So he took a deep breath, hoped that he'll say the right words.  
He never know about her nightmares. Last time she had it, he didn't have the time to ask her what really happened. And then he started thinking about mornings in the precinct when she looked like she was exhausted.

Was it because she didn't sleep ?

Was it because she had nightmare ?

"What nightmare, Kate ?"

She was unsure that talking is the right choice. She never shared any of this to anybody, and it was nice to be taken care of ,she confessed that to herself. But she wasn't used to open herself.

She didn't want him to know that she was that weak.

That vulnerable.

That she's not extraordinary enough to him.

But after all, Castle was her everything, her wall to lean on, her light to keep her motivated, her solid ground to keep her steady.

Castle noticed her frown. "Hey, what are you thinking ? Please, tell me."

God, he hates it when she's quiet.

"Kate? Talk." He tried again.

And then she talk about everything that bothering her.

"I dreamed about this afternoon. I dreamed that you didn't come back. That you...that you leave me here." She started to cry. She always knew she'd end up crying.

She needed to.

He was very hoping that he'd see tears, but there is nothing.

Just her sobbing.

"Kate, I screwed up yesterday, and I will never ever leave you again. Okay ? I love you. But right now I have to make sure that you're okay, got it ?"

Kate's heart pounded. "I'm okay. Don't call them."

"Kate-"

"Please." Her voice sounded hopeless.

"Kate, I promised the nurse to tell them if you starting to throw up again. I'll be here with you. I'll be here with you holding your hand when they're here. Okay ?" He kissed the temple of her head. The simple question was enough to make her dizzy.

If she started to argue again, he'll get mad and leave her. If she let the nurse come, she'll get the feeling she hates so much.

Kate only nodded.

"I will be the one who talk to her, Kate. You tell me, how are you feeling ? Be honest." Asked Castle.

She couldn't stand looking at his eyes. "Nausea, as ever. And I feel so weak, like I don't have any energy to stay awake, and my liver hurts, and..."

The nurse interrupted them by opening the door.

Castle sighed in relief. She was a different nurse.

"Anything to help , Detective Beckett ?"

Castle was the first to speak.

"She vomited about 10 minutes ago, and she cried but didn't have the tears. What is that supposed to mean ?" He couldn't help but panic.

The nurse nodded and turned to Kate's side. "You vomited the gastric acid too much,Detective. How are you feeling ?"

"She told me she felt feverish, nausea, tired, her liver hurts." Castle answered. Kate nodded in agreement.

"Okay, Detective Beckett, I'll see your temperature." She jabbed a thermometer to her mouth. While waiting the result, the nurse called the cleaning staff to clean the floor.

"103.8." said the nurse. Castle shook his head, didn't know what to do.

"The fever in Hepatitis A is supposed to be low. Her temperature is high because of the stress and exhaustion. It made her sweating much. And you said she cried but didn't have the tears, Mr. Castle ? It made sense for the complication of dehydration."

Castle released a breath he didn't know he was holding the first time and gave a squeeze to Kate's hand.

"What can we do ?"

"I'll give her IV fluids, be back in 30 minutes. Meanwhile, try to relax. Mr. Castle, take care of her while I'm off. And Detective," the nurse turned to Kate,

"be honest with him." Said the nurse as she leave the room.

Rick looked back at Kate. "Kate, you have something you want to say ?"

Kate sighed. "Promise you won't laugh ?"

"Never." He stroked her hand.

"Actually it's not a big deal, it's just that.. I... I guess I just miss my Mom, that's all."  
Rick running his fingers through his hair. He couldn't do anything about thing like this.

"What can I do, Kate ?" His emphatic voice made her shiver.

"I don't know…. But you can always hold me."

He nodded, and quickly wrapped both of his arms to her. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"It's been 13 years, Rick. I miss her so much. I never thought I'd still be here by now. I only have my dad, Castle." Her voice broke. He held her tighter.

"For the rest of the month, he was my hero. He was my rock. I cried every night, and he told me everything's gonna be okay, and I believe him. He used to play a song in his piano every night. My lullaby. But one night, he.." She took a deep breath as she felt Castle placed a kiss on her hair.

"...he stopped. I thought he was sleeping or what, but I didn't found him anywhere. And then I heard a voice from the bathroom. The smell of the alcohol hit my nose as soon as I stepped in. That moment, I realized everything's not gonna be okay."

"God, Kate, I really wish I was there to get you through that." His body gone cold to just think about the younger Kate facing moments like that. She was at Alexis' ages.

"You were there. You got me through that. Thanks to your writing skill." She smiled.

"But it wasn't the same."

"It wasn't. But no way I would let you see how broken was I. I'm lucky enough to meet you, even it's 10 years after. I won't ask for more."

"Actually, I'm the lucky one." He kissed her cheek.

There was a silence.

"She's proud of you, you know ?" He mumbled to her hair.

"You don't know that."

"I know. I'm a parent. One day, when you have our baby, you'll understand."

Kate turned her face to face his. "Really, Castle ? 'Our' ?" She teased.

"What ? I said 'your' not our. Poor the ears of yours."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "So Rick, you don't want to have babies with me ?"

Rick gasped. "No - that's not what I mean. I'd love to, but - well our kids will be all beautiful like you - but-"

Kate smirked. "-so you'd love to, huh ?"

"Kaaaaaate. Stop teasing me."

"Should I, Ricky ?"

"Kate, it's not funny at all."

She let out a laugh and touched his cheek with her hand. Her teasing face turned serious in a moment.

"Don't grow up too much, okay ?"

They had the eye-sex they hadn't had for a long time.

He sometimes feel so weak. When he looked at her eyes deeply, there's always something that made him...hypnotized. Like.. If she didn't break the eye-contact first, he would sink deeper and deeper until he's numb.

"Stop it." He whispered.

"Stop what ?"

"Looking at me like that."

"No, you're the one who looking at me like that. You have to stop."

"It's you. I can't stop, okay. It have to be you."

"Castle, quick, my eyes are getting dry. I'm dehydrated, remember ?"

"Yeah, right. I'm sorry." He looked down. Inside, he was really happy to hear her jokes again. Happy to be teased again.

She was still his Kate after all.

* * *

A/N : Yes, right, lack of idea. I know. Told you I'm no good at this. But reviews will keep my spirit, so please, leave a feedback before you leave this page. Anyway, I'm still 13. I'm not good at writing romance at all, don't ever think about me writing _funny_ stuff xD


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